Author(s): Amy J.L. Baker and Paul R. Fine
There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed-and you may feel powerless. In Co-parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of coparenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome," and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse. Divorce is often painful, especially if your ex habitually tries to undermine your relationship with your children. But with the right tools you can protect your kids and make your relationship with them stronger than ever. This book can show you how. You can find out more about this book and about author Amy J.L. Baker at www.amyjlbaker.com.
"Parenting expert Baker ("Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome") and psychotherapist Fine have created a workbook specifically for divorced co-parents who sense they are losing the battle for their children's love, loyalty, and respect. The book features tools, strategies, written exercises, and dialogues designed to help reduce the ex's negative influence and 'delay, if not prevent' a child from choosing one parent over another. This guide helps co-parents recognize and understand the signs and symptoms of loyalty struggles and their insidious effects, while offering remedies based in positive and mindful parenting to help fashion a safe and loving environment. The authors suggest the familiar protocol of positive parenting as a way to strengthen the parent-child bond, and, when coupled with mindfulness techniques for personal awareness, this protocol can help unhappy, stressed parents handle the animosity and negative influence of their ex. Like a guerilla manual, the book arms co-parents with tools for coping with a variety of scenarios, including when the ex is sending poisonous messages, interfering with contact and communication, 'erasing and replacing, ' encouraging the child to betray confidences and trust, or undermining the co-parent's authority. Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices." --"Publishers Weekly"
, PhD, is a national expert on children caught in loyalty conflicts and has written a seminal book on the topic, Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome, a professional book published by WW Norton. She conducts trainings around the country for parents and legal and mental health professionals, has written dozens of scholarly articles on topics related to parent-children relationships, and has appeared on national TV such as Good Morning America, CNN, and the Joy Behar Show. She has been quoted in the New York Times and U.S. News and World Report, among other print media outlets. Baker graduated from Barnard College, Suma Cum Laude, and Phi Beta Kappa. She has a PhD in human development from Teachers College of Columbia University. More information is available on her website at www.amyjlbaker.com.
Paul R. Fine, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist in practice at a community mental health center in northern New Jersey. He has over 25 years' experience working with diverse populations. His practice includes an eclectic and humanistic approach to problems faced by individuals and families.